When I became a mom in 2006 I fell in love. Head over heels, shamelessly in love. It was a love like no other. My beautiful sweet baby stole my heart right out of my chest and held it in the palm of her hand. Finally, after so many years of wanting and waiting and praying my dreams had been realized. I was a mom! God was entrusting one of His sweet angels to me, and I was to raise her and love her unconditionally and to teach her to be a good person, a Godly young lady. My heart swelled with love, with pride, with joy, and with amazement for this miraculous baby girl.
Some people would say that I couldn’t know a true mother’s love (yes, some people did actually say that to me!) because I didn’t carry this baby for 9 months, because I didn’t give birth to her. They said it’s different when you carry a child inside of you, when your body works for 9 long months to bring a human to life. I think many people with even the best intentions and with true love and appreciation for the journey I’ve been on didn’t really believe I could truly know a mother’s love since I didn’t carry Bella inside of me, since I did not give birth to her. I can say to many that they have no idea what it’s like to follow your heart through an incredibly difficult journey of emotional ups and downs, physical pain and grief, alternating joy and fear, only to finally meet the person that God intended, that He created, just for you. To finally gaze down on the most miraculous gift you will ever receive.
I am blessed beyond measure because I now have the honor and privilege of knowing both avenues to motherhood. I was first led down the adoption path to bring my sweet Bella home, then my pregnancy with my precious Kate was a whole separate and miraculous journey. Yes, many people were right in a way. It is a totally different feeling, a different love, to bring forth life, to carry a baby for nine months, and to give birth. It is a different love. That’s it. More or less isn’t even a factor. My love for each of my children is no more or less beautiful and miraculous because of the path God chose to give them to me.
When I became a mom in 2014 I fell once again truly, madly, deeply in love. Experiencing a miracle I was convinced was never possible for me was overwhelming and awesome. This was another of my prayers answered in God’s perfect time. Yes it is a love like no other, and like I’ve never known. This baby girl made my heart swell as she took over her own big piece of it to hold in her sweet little hands. I absolutely cannot get enough of her. We are natural together. I am hers and she is mine.
So to those who said it was so different to give birth, who said there’s just a different bond between a birth mother and child, thank you. Thank you for helping me to recognize how amazing each of my journeys to becoming mom to each of my girls has been. Thank you for making sure I recognize my unique and individual love for each of my children. Thank you for helping me to see that it’s ok that I look at my sweet Kate and know that I’ve never known a love like this before. And thank you for helping me recognize that my first maternal love for my beautiful Bella is just as wondrous and magnificent as any mother’s love for her child.
Here is what I know about a mother’s love. Whether you are a biological mom, a stepmom, an adoptive mom, a foster mom, an any kind of mom…a true mom’s love is bigger than life. A mom’s heart swells with pride with each accomplishment big or small. Mom’s hearts are shattered when one of her children hurts physically or emotionally. Mom’s love doesn’t end when anger strikes, or when she is hurt. A mom can be brought to tears by the sound of her baby’s voice, whether it’s a newborn crying from a shot, a child celebrating a perfect report card, a teenager crying from a broken heart, a grown up child crying tears of joy at the birth of their own child. All of these things and so much more will bring a mom to tears. A mom’s range of emotions is bigger than she could ever have imagined! Who knew a 3 year old singing nursery rhymes on stage would make your heart explode with pride! Who knew a 9 year old back talking and lashing out in frustration could hurt so much! Who knew a newborn who cries because they just want to snuggle could make you drop everything and just sit when there are a million things to do! Who knew such a strong independent woman could be so vulnerable. Who knew when you become a mom your heart no longer belongs to you, but to those precious beings God has entrusted to you. God knew!
*Hey Dads, this post is written from my mom perspective comparing giving birth to adopting. I am in no way discounting a dad’s love. I know dad’s emotions run deep too! That’s a whole other post!